WEEK 29 - Who Is Your Support Group?

This week I met with my mentor who asked me to go home and think about who my support group is, write it down and show her at our next meeting.

This one stumped me a little. The word support means 1. to bear all or part of the weight or hold up and 2. give assistance to, especially financially; enable to function or act. While a group is a number of people who are located close together or classified together. 

I am a very independent woman and have (in this season) found myself quite alone, or at least what I consider alone. 

I have my family and in-law family who love and support my husband and I, each in their own way and they live about an hour and a half away from us. To me that's not close by. We see each other very minimally and while we text, call, FB and email it's not the same as one stopping by for tea and a chat or to help you clean your house when you're having a break down or pray with you and believe with you. 

I have my mentor who I am over the moon about but she is a pastor's wife and our relationship is new and she is not one that I would ever consider calling on to bear all or part of the weight - most likely because I get really stuck on that word all... All is the kind of thing that I would expect of and from myself and reach out to help someone else with no problems but would never ask someone (outside of my husband) to do for me/us. She is of course bearing part of the weight of me as we chat and discuss and share, learn and grow. But that's tidy and not in my (for right now) incredibly messy home where I feel quite lost at times. 

I have girls in my life who each have a special place in my heart, but none of them come over weekly or even monthly. I have friends who all seem to be walking through a busy season at the same time as myself and so we don't connect often (sometimes once every six months or a quick chat at church). Some are newer friends who I'm getting to know and love while others I've known since marriage and still others even before. And still I find myself in a season of aloneness and sometimes loneliness. 


I have my husband who IS my support group and yet he is one man. He has cooked for me, cleaned our home, done our grocery shopping, massaged my feet, encouraged me that I can work one more week when I wake up and feel as if I cannot, prayed for me, listened to me and believed in me. He has been my lifeline and support, I am so grateful for him and so glad that God has blessed me with a husband who has risen up to the occasion of pregnancy for me, for us, as ours hasn't been easy and he has carried me while I carry our child. 

I have God who without I couldn't have gotten through the 17 weeks of nausea, frequent scares and emergency runs, feelings of inadequacy and so much more. I am still alive, always loved and in Him satisfied through all of these months of insecurities and fears, sickness and loneliness. 

I am part of (for now) the worship team at my church, a girls group that meets once a month and an usher. It allows me to be connected and a part of what is going on for now but soon I won't be able to attend those functions and be a part of those groups. I'm still trying to process that and come to terms with all of the nearing changes. 

I have my job which is so much more than a paycheque and filled with people who I admire and love but that too will end at week 36 and so nothing is currently routine or if it is, then permanent. 

I have a team of midwives, a doula and an OBGYN working with me who will be present and supporting me during my labour and delivery but they are not permanent nor are they life long friends. They aren't who I would call because my baby has been crying for 2 hours and I just need a nap.

I also have this great neighbour who is literally one door away and has offered free babysitting. This is such a blessing and I will call upon her I'm sure at some point but even that doesn't help with the things that feel too overwhelming and tiring and hard right now. The getting ready for this baby, the purchasing, the cleaning and meal prepping for after delivery. 

All this to say that change is really hard for me, especially when I feel alone and inadequate. There are so many voices and messages when you get pregnant and are heading toward mat leave and so much change. There are a lot of negative voices and messages but also ones of love and encouragement, good advice and help if you know where to look and how to listen. 

All in all this week has been busy. I did visit with a friend and it was really nice. We went out for coffee and sat and chatted. That hasn't happened for me in a while. One of my beautiful sisters celebrated her birthday and left precious comments all over my blog that gave me so much encouragement that at least one person reads the words I spend hours writing. I'm not sure why that's important to me - perhaps it's because it shows that I'm not alone and someone is hearing me even from far away. Also this week I started working on the inventory for my home business Mary Kay which I love! 

Total self advertisement here but if you do like make up or need really good product to start fighting wrinkles (welcome to your 30's) or you just want to know more about what I do and the products I use and sell then PLEASE check out my website @ www.marykay.ca/loosterom or call me or text me at 604-319-8002 I exclusively use this product, I absolutely love it and have been for 3 years now. I have parties (3-8 people) and do facials (1-2 people) and it's an absolutely free and  fun way to try our product and see if you love it as much as I do. 

So all in all it's been a good week with ups and downs, lots of self searching and working through things that for right now make up who I am. I want to let go of the negative things and cling to the good. I want to throw myself at the feet of Jesus and rest in His arms and love, not looking to the right or left. I want to begin to nurture a support group in my life and also be a part of supporting them. 

Keep searching for the Healing and Sunshine!
Love your friend,
Laura