Friday, November 11, 2022

March 2017

A 9 Month Old in the Hospital


This month we found ourselves in two hospitals for Samara's dad. He was admitted on March 17 and got transferred on the 25th and was able to leave as an outpatient on April 10, 2017 

Samara and I would wake up every morning, get dressed, pack a cooler full of food, her diaper bag, a toys bag and head out the door. We would arrive around 9 AM and stay until 6 PM where we would head home so Samara could go to bed on time. 

Samara thought we went to the hospital to socialize and nap. She loved it! The nurses adored her, she was able to play on the large chairs or Raymond's bed and she napped in the buggy.

Can I just say what a huge blessing it was that my husband got sick when he did? That may sound strange but at this time in Samara's young life she was full of joy, delight and couldn't really roll or crawl and couldn't stand on her own. Because of this the long days with the routine I implemented worked perfectly. Now she can crawl and pull her self up anywhere and she would have been miserable! I would have had to either hire someone to take care of my daughter or my husband.

He was dieing! You guys, it was awful to go through and yet there was this little girl, my baby who got me up at 7 AM without fail with a smile on her face, was a happy and chirpy passenger each morning in my car and brought us favour wherever we went. We had the head of a certain department come down herself instead of sending her resident because she heard about Samara. Raymond had some of the best doctors in Canada on his case and the prayers of hundreds of people and because of that he survived.

There were so many moments on this journey of crisis and survival where I had nothing left at the end of the day and on those days someone would have popped by my house and cleaned it or done my dishes or put food in our fridge so I wouldn't have to cook. Here's the thing, when help was offered to me I reached out and took it. Normally that isn't me, I suck it up and I figure it out. I don't always get through things gracefully but I come out on the other side victorious and alone... This time I said "help" and help came. Don't be too proud to ask for help, it will only hurt you. Because of the generosity of others we were able to pay for hospital parking ($68/week) and get coffee, pay for the gas it took to drive to Vancouver and back daily. We got new toys for Samara and clothes - This was incredibly helpful to amuse her for hours with new toys that she hadn't played with for hours before as well as books which meant new stories to be read. My home being cleaned meant I didn't have to come home, get my baby to bed and start cleaning my kitchen from the mornings food prep, I didn't have to spend hours cooking at midnight to get ready for the next days food to bring, I didn't have to grocery shop with a screaming baby who only wanted to go to bed or the hundreds of little things that need to be done on a daily basis that would have all been put to the side or done in a great stress and place of exhaustion.

Friends, family, church, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to soar in a time when I should have failed and failed hard. Thank you for allowing me to care for my husband and my daughter and not having to worry about what we were going to eat or how we were going to afford the extra expenses.

God heard your prayers, my prayers and answered in big ways. Raymond got a hospital transfer at just the right time. I had to fight for it but I was given the grace and vulnerability to do that.

Raymond is alive and I praise the Lord Jesus Christ for his life. He should be dead but he is not. Praise the Lord. 

Keep seeking the healing and sunshine
Laura

Late Night Musings

 Once upon a time I was young and late nights meant reading as late as I could keep my eyes open and then sleeping in the next day. Then it meant hanging out with friends. Then it meant waiting up for my husband to come home from work so I could see him more than once or twice a week since our shifts didn’t sync up. Even later it meant little sleep and surviving the newborn stage not once but twice and now that nobody is nursing and everyone is sleeping through the night for the most part it means staying up to spend time with myself. 

Today has been a day. I woke up, stretched my back because I have to if I want to function like a 38 year old instead of a 98 year old. Then I went to the bathroom, came out and fed my babies (who by the way are growing up way too fast). Next I took a stab at making sauerkraut for the first time, worked on my loaf of bread that was set to rise for the second time and then moved onto reading, dishes, laundry and eventually making lunch and pie. The dentist had me scheduled for a cleaning so I went, was told how great my teeth are and went home. My son wanted pizza for dinner so I played for a minute and then went to start the pizza dough. My husband came home from his dentist appointment and he made a different dinner (pizza was going to take too long) and by this time I was in my room with my candles lit finding my peace. 

Dinner

More dishes

Bedtime routine

Got up, chatted with my husband, spent time on my phone and pizza dough… 10:30 pm pizza dough…

Decided to paint because I haven’t in a long time and I have a vision for my front yard I want to get down on canvas so I can see it before I create it in real time. 

Then pizza dough…

I made 2 pizzas and put them in the fridge. Tomorrow we will bake them and be grateful for them. They will be fresh and delicious. But today, it is 1AM and my kitchen is a mess, there are toys all over the house and it - is - quiet and I don’t want to go to bed because I don’t want the quiet to end. It fills up my soul. 

Can anyone else relate? I love my babies, I love my husband and on the flip side I long for peace and quiet. I long for time with God. 

Anyway these are some late night ramblings and I need to go to bed. 

Keep seeking healing and sunshine ☀️