She Turned 1

Happy Birthday Little One

   

My little baby is one year old now and while I knew the time would fly, and everyone told me it would in case I didn't know, I did NOT understand this new speed with which time can fly. It takes your breath away and forgets to give it back.

One Year Old... Wow! 

This year has been by far my best and most likely worst. It started out with a lot of pain and pushing and hard work to bring you into this world little darling. Then you popped out (literally, I heard it) and there you were, crying and laying on me and looking at me and at the sound of my voice you stopped and time stopped and we stopped and gazed into each others eyes and that was it. The beginning of new life for the both of us. Thank you. 

Speed along and here I find myself with what once was a dark haired, dark eyed, tiny sqirmy little squish is now a strawberry blonde, blue eyed, curious and well developed you, my darling daughter. You have gone from tiny to 23 pounds, size 4 diapers. You began strong as a little tiny baby astounding mommy with your head and neck and upper body strength and now you play with 4 pound weights and push the 10 pound weight along the carpet. You were completely helpless at the beginning and now you are totally fearless. WOW - so much has happened and I have so much to say to you. 

You were perfect on the day you were born and you still are today. You are my delight and my joy, you are joy, you live it, give it, spread and share it. You wave at EVERYONE and you don't quit if they don't see you or wave back right away, you are determined. You giggle and laugh and smile, always smile, unless you're not and then you're quite serious. Large crowds make you serious as you take it all in or new places, you want to see everything and learn about it and that's when you're too busy to smile. 

You love touch, it's your love language. You are always touching and feeling, you sooth yourself this way and usually need me to be close to fall asleep. You LOVE to eat. You sigh and dance and chat about your food, especially when you find it extra delicious. You love Alfi our cat! You pat him gently and hug him, burying your face into his soft fur. You chase him around the house until he has to jump up somewhere high to get away from you or hold his ground - that makes mommy nervous. You are furniture walking, including using the walls so you can really get around. You stand up in the middle of the room sometimes and glow with the accomplishment of it. You have a soft heart and get offended when I say no. You cry when you don't want to go to sleep without me but I don't let you cry much or for long. We have a system you and I and it works for us both. I can tell by your cries if you need me or if you're more annoyed that I'm not there. The second one you'll put yourself to sleep but the first one I need to be there no matter what and I am. 

Right now you get up with dada (that's what you call him lovingly) and you two eat together and play while mommy sleeps. Then daddy brings you to me and I put you down for your first nap and he studies (he's working so hard to pass his exams that he missed while he was hospitalized for a month back in March/April). We nurse and snuggle and then you nap for 1.5 - 2 hours. When you wake up it's time to nurse again and then start lunch (or walk and then lunch, it depends). Then we get up to something fun - outside, a visit with friends, chasing each other, playing with toys, going into mommies garden to pick flowers (well, that's what you think we are doing. The truth is that I am dead heading my flowers so they grow all summer instead of seeding). Then it's time for your afternoon nap, dinner, playtime, bedtime routine and then you're off to bed. How the time flies.

You are a fantastic crawler, you have 4 teeth, you can say mom, dada, cat, (sometimes) hi and once you said a very clear "NO" to me as well as "hot" but only once each. You have started to climb up things as well as crawl under things. You love to explore and get into everything. You and I have a game where you snatch my glasses from wherever they are and you LOVE it - you get so excited with the thrill of it because you know it's a no. You go for walks with daddy and adventures with mommy. You love being with daddy because he always is up to something interesting. Your best friend is Carter Donkers but you kissed Israel Hazelmann and you also love Emma and James Penner. 

You know the signs for eat, drink (this calls for water), milk and all done. You tell me you want to eat very vigorously when you are hungry and you always want what I have, even when you are already eating the same thing. You are chubby and sweet, smart and kind and caring, you love babies and you are kind to animals. You think you're quite funny (we think so too) and you love bath time with mommy as long as she isn't pouring water on your head to wash your hair. You share a little bit which is super advanced and you are learning to shake your head NO instead of hit. You give warning signs before you start swinging at the other kids, mommy is very proud!

You love to read books and shop, you love your cousins and smile at Opa and Grandma (sometimes). You are my sweet baby girl whom I love with all of my heart, protect with all of my fierceness and who I cheer on and encourage each day. You are loved, you are wanted, you are delighted in, you are sweet and kind and gentle and passionate and smart and joyful and so many other things already at such a young age. 

YOU LOVE TO DANCE! How could I almost forget! You dance with or without music, it is so adorable to see!!! 

I love you baby, there's so much more to say but you're sleeping so I should go too!

Keep searching for the healing and sunshine,

Love,

Laura

Dear Samara - A Letter to My Baby

This was you today.

Dear Samara,
I love you so much. I cannot properly articulate how much I love you, it's something that must be said, shown, thought and felt both emotionally and physically. I try and do all of these things when you are in my arms, close by, to your face or when you are not near me at all. My love for you is something that you will one day understand is with you wherever you go.
You have taken me on a great journey, one full of peril, wonder, excitement, fear, bewilderment, love, purity, and healing, a journey filled with both the fast and the slow, each day a miracle.
You are my miracle. I prayed for you, I asked God for a baby girl and here you are. My love chubb nugget. You are so healthy, happy, full of delight. You bop and dance throughout the day. You communicate with laughter, arms held out, chatter, smiles, coos, screeches and screams. You cry when you're fighting sleep or if you're tired and you want to be picked up right away  or a toy gets taken from you that you were enjoying. You are eating solids now and can eat up to 2 cubes worth at a time. You understand a lot of what mommy is saying and you understand some sign language as well. Currently I know you know "eat," "milk," "more" and we are working on "all done." You have started to make the sign "more" all by yourself now and mommy is SO PROUD of all your efforts! You know who mommy is and call for me. You know who daddy is and I think you know who we mean when we ask you where Ali is as well.
You have experienced food sensitivities and have had hours of projectile vomiting under your belt as a result. You have been constipated once, for days and you screamed in pain - it was the most awful experience for us both. You have sobbed over some of your vaccines and barely noticed others. You have never had Tylenol because you haven't had a fever yet but you have had a cold that stuffed your nose up pretty bad and kept mommy up at nights listening to your breathing.
You are so precious. You are smart and adorable, you are cheery and full of joy and laughter. You have loud protests inside of you and love to sit, roll front to back and back to front and you still love to jump in your jolly jumper. I have to time you for 15 mins or you'll overdo it and cry.
I love to play with you, take you on walks, show you things, go for car rides with you, nurse you, snuggle you, sing action songs with you, blow bubbles with you, show you flowers, pat alfi with you, cook with you, feed you, and read you books. I love all things to do with you.

You're learning to be frustrated and it is such a pure form - full out, no holding back. You don't know that there are levels of anger and frustration yet. I help you through it and am mindful to work on my own outbursts and displays of emotions.

Your first month vs your 8th month of life

Because of you I'm a better adult. It was easy to be selfish before you came along but now it's past time I mature and I'm mindful and aware of it. Because of you I know I want to mature as a physical being and a spiritual being. I have been selfish and immature for too long. I realise that not every area of my mind, will, emotions and spirit are the same but that some are more seasoned and grown and mature than other parts of me. Physically I am an adult. I didn't have to do anything to make that happen, I just had to wake up each day alive and my body did everything for me. My mind, emotions, m
y heart and my spirit are not the same as my body. Those parts of me I have to work on every day if I want to grow and mature and I need God to help me and complete the work that He began in me. I'm so excited to introduce you to Jesus! He is my best friend and He saved my life, literally.

Samara, I'm so excited for you to truly know your dad. He is such a good man and he fully loves you. You two chat and giggle, snuggle and daddy is the one who gets you ready for bed and does stories with you every night. He also feeds you and plays with you when he can but right now he is an engineering student so we only see him for about an hour a day.
One last thing love bug, you have
started to copy - it's so exciting! Everyday you are growing and changing, learning new things and showing me what you learned. You are very social and love to smile at people and you have begun to wave a little as well. I'm not sure if you know that you're waving but you do.
And just so you know, I pray over you every night. I intercede on your behalf and I ask God to bless you. You are so loved little one, you are safe and you are precious, God's gift to me.

I love you,
xoxo forever
Mommy

Baby Journal - A One Day Example

I took notes everyday of Samara because it was a lot to remember off the top of my head at the beginning especially being so tired! It is important to know how many diapers your baby has had of pees and poops in the beginning because you're looking for a certain number of these. This will tell you that your baby is getting enough milk, that they are hydrated and that their kidneys and digestive system are working. If you aren't sure you can call the nurses hotline at 811 and if your baby isn't needing any diaper changes then seek medical help immediately. I wrote down when she nursed and which side we were on because the side you finish on is the side you need to start your next feed on. That way your breast gets drained and the baby gets the hind milk. If you can't remember which side you are finishing on then get an elastic and wear it on the wrist you end on which in turn is the side you also need to start on. The elastic is quick and easy to switch over after every feed. This will help your baby get the hind milk which chubbs it up and allows him/her to sleep better as well. I kept a quick blurb on how much sleep I was getting so I could say "You got 6 hours, you're okay!" or "You got 2 hours, that's why you feel weird and super cranky - go to bed!" It's easy to get lost in the newness of motherhood so jot it down, that way you'll have a reference as to why you're feeling a bit crazy or overtired etc. Yes your hormones play a big part but if you're not eating, drinking and sleeping that brings things to a whole other level!

July 6, 2016 ~ 1 week old today!!!

NURSING JOURNAL:
1 AM L side; 1:13 AM R side
4:40 - 4:56 AM L side; fell asleep - put her in bed @ 5:07 AM
5:53 AM L start; R finish - didn't hurt, great latches - thanks God; Ended at 6:30 AM
9 AM start R; L finish 9:40 AM
11:45 L side start; 12:11 done - asleep
1:35 PM R side start; L side finish @ 2:16
3:05 PM L side start; R side 4:10 done
5:50 PM R side start; 6:18 PM L side start, 6:30 PM finish
8:10 PM L side start; 9:40 PM R side done
11:21 PM R side start; 11:44 L side start; 12:15 done

10 Breast Feeds Today

SLEEPING JOURNAL:
Samara 10:30/Mommy 11 - 12:51
3-4:30
6:35-8:43
4:30-5:30

Total: 6.5 hours today

Samara's Diapers Journal:
12:52 pee/poo
pee AM
6 AM poo
9 AM poo/pee
12:30 lots of pee
12:36 poo
3:10 pee
3:15 poo
6 pm pee
8 pm pee lots, poo green
11 pm pee; poo green/yellow

Total pee: 8
Total poo: 7

Keep searching for the healing and sunshine,
Your friend ~ Laura

New Baby ~ Part 1

Blurbs from my Journal ~ Week 1

Samara Jane Oosterom
Born: June 29, 2016
@ 6:23 AM  ~  8.04 pounds  ~  54 cm long

One Day Old

June 30 - I (Laura) had a 10 - 20 minute nap during the day and Samara nursed from 11 pm-midnight. My mom and sister came over to meet Samara today. She is 1 day old!

These are some notes I wrote down when I remembered to after having Samara. I'm going to share them with you in my "new baby" series so you can see how having a new baby can be. It's important to sleep when you can, eat when you can, hold your new baby, nurse him/her and bond with them BUT it is so important to have a rough plan in place so you don't get sleep deprived and loopy like I did. It's important to have someone check on you to make sure you've slept and eaten and had a drink a few times in your day. For myself as a new mom I had a plan for the pregnancy, for my birth and delivery and for the first day or so after delivery but I didn't plan after that and it caused me to become totally sleep deprived.

My advice to new moms is this: Make rough plans and check in with yourself. Be flexible and forgiving of yourself but make sure you are sleeping, eating and drinking. These are IMPORTANT things when having a baby so that you can care for your baby with love and patience and sanity. Also, you cannot produce milk if you aren't eating and drinking and sleep is important in this area as well and for your mental health.

• Plan to eat for one during pregnancy. 

• Make a birth plan but have the ultimate goal of delivering a live, healthy baby ~ anything else is a blessing. A c-section is just as much of a success as a vaginal birth if the above is your ultimate goal. 

• Plan for recovery: Have family and friends come and bring food over so that you don't have to cook for a few weeks - the longer the better. Plan for 2-3 short visits a day and spread them out or you will get too tired (I couldn't sleep while my visitors were over). Plan to take sitz baths to speed up your healing process (I couldn't walk for weeks and didn't feel "normal" until 6 months postpartum).

July 1 - My milk came in! Right side latching is easy but the left side is giving me troubles. Samara nursed 11 times today, I slept for 4 hours total (night / day). 

3 days old with Grandpa

July 2 - Diaper rash, Samara nursed 13 times today, still having troubles with latching on the left side. Mom and Dad Bennett came to visit as well as Jeanette and Toni. I had a bath, dinner and one 1 hour nap today and a second 45 minute one as well. 

July 3 - Nursing is really starting to hurt. Poor latches are causing blisters and bleeding. Today I slept for almost 2 hours while Raymond held Samara for me. Tansy and her family came to visit us and meet Samara. Samara nursed 17 times today and I had a total of 3.5 hours of sleep. Katrina and Michael came in the PM

* I kept track of how many pees/poops Samara had (diaper changes) and how many times she nursed, when she nursed and what side we began and ended on. I also kept track of my naps and sleep hours per day and who visited. 

5 days old!

July 4 - Nipple pain is really bad, infected now. 6.5 hours of sleep total, Samara nursed 11 times today, mom and dad Oosterom came for a visit.

July 5 - Samara is nursing better and so she's sleeping in longer chunks. I got a 2.5 hour and a 2 hour chunk and a total of 5.5 hours sleep today! Samara nursed 9 times today ~ I think she needs less nursing times when she's nursing a full breast vs snacking because she isn't on a growth spurt yet. God thank you for these precious snuggles, thank you for my sweet baby.

One week old today!

July 6 - Great latches DON'T hurt regardless of previous damage. Samara you are one week old! Green poop means you aren't nursing long enough per side. It means you are getting the fore milk but not the hind milk. Yellow poop means you're getting the hind milk. I got 6.5 hours of sleep total today and my stitches are starting to fall out! 

So this is my first week with my new baby girl. It was full of wonderful and tough things. I wasn't able to latch her properly and so my nipples got infected. I had to get prescribed a cream with a steroid in it to promote fast healing. That along with Tylenol I was able to nurse through the pain but if I had known it was okay to unlatch my baby and try again over and over until we got it that wouldn't have happened. Nursing is something that both you and your baby have to learn together and there is a right way of doing it. There are many nursing positions but if it hurts then unlatch your baby and try again. I definitely recommend a nipple cream for the first few weeks until your nipples (literally) toughen up. Also, to unlatch your baby stick your finger in the side of their mouth gently to break the suction. If you don't you will cause further damage to your nipple as the suction is quite powerful! Another thing to note is that trying to get a good latch is tiring for the mother and emotionally trying on both baby and mommy. Baby because they're hungry and may cry when taken off, mother because you might feel upset and even angry that you can't get a good latch. Make sure you are relaxed while nursing. I had my husband rub my back and shoulders. Sometimes it took 15 times before we got a good latch. Don't give up - you and your baby can do this, you just both need to learn the art of nursing!

Keep searching for the healing and sunshine,
Your friend,
Laura

Hello Noro Virus, Lonliness, and Samara - the light of my life

Seven Months Earth-Side

Well it's been a long time since I've been able to just sit down and write. There are a few reasons, one of them being that Samara sleeps in our room which is where my computer is located and I can't blog while she sleeps as the computer screen is too bright! Another reason is that my husband is in the depths of school and so he sometimes takes the laptop with him which is our other computer and so when he does is when I seem to remember I have a blog and when I go in to write it's gone!

So here we are, it's February 2017 and I think my last posts were written in October 2016! So I decided to sit down, write my post for having a seven month old baby and then I will work backwards from there. I do have a draft for month 1 and 6 (oh my word!) My baby is sitting in her rocking chair with her toys, pulling the sheep skin over her face and giggling as she poops.

Can I just say, I was blessed with a happy, healthy, alive baby! Each of those things I do not take for granted. It seems that I hear more and more stories of babies fighting terminal illnesses or being found in their cribs not breathing or having colic or just crying a lot! It's so heartbreaking and I send up a prayer for each one I come across.

Well month seven started out tough. She started it by throwing up between 1-3 AM, projectile vomit, the kind that makes an adult cry. She took it like a champ and I held and soothed and encouraged her while my husband ran around doing laundry and cleaning us up. Then we went to the home of my old job and looked after two of the sweetest kidlets (that I miss like mad) for two days while their parents got away together. It was so much fun and I couldn't have done it without the help of my husband. Together it was fun, all of the 3 kidlets were cared for (nobody was left out) and it was a really great experience. This month I have baked, cooked, had visitors, gone to Chilliwack a couple of times, cleaned, laughed, and cried. I have started a YouTube channel and my instagram is alive and well with pictures of food and Samara.

Month seven has found Samara to be sitting even better, lounging and going in between the two to practise her sit ups. She is so strong. She has started to laugh more fully without cutting herself off and she smiles and chats. She has started demanding that I hold her standing up to put her to sleep as she has grown again and is too long for me to snuggle her sitting down unless she's crunched up a bit. She loves to sing with me and lights up when music comes on. She is so good at sitting and playing beside me while I fold laundry or eat breakfast. She always wants a taste of what I'm eating and loudly proclaims "MMMMMMMMMM" so I know she would like some. She is an absolute delight and I am so blessed, happy and privileged to be her mom.

Some things that she's not doing is rolling onto her stomach, she really protests being on her tummy and rolls onto her back almost immediately. While she has proven strong enough to go on all fours, she doesn't practise that as she doesn't want to be on her tummy but would rather sit, jump, stand, or be held. She is also a little slow in the eating department as she's had an upset stomach twice now (we just got over a 9 hour projectile vomiting trial that turned into her still throwing up most of her milk the next day but not projectile) and so I don't feed her a lot. She likes to try new foods but when I offer her the left overs tends to turn her nose up at them.

This month finds Samara at 20 pounds and over 2 feet long. She is super strong and for the most part healthy. In total she has battled one cold and two rounds of the noro virus (what our mom's would have called the flue) in her seven months of life. She is due for her 6 month shots (she's two months behind by my choice) but we won't be getting them until she has a clean bill of health, but hopefully soon so she's not too far behind. She loves our cat Alfi and he loves her back. While she does pull his fur occasionally, she's also learning to pat him nicely and he puts up with the pulling and patting which I'm very grateful for.

This school semester we have found ourselves housebound which is very hard on me. While I am a home body, being trapped at home 7 days a week isn't pleasant for anybody. For the month of January and now February Samara and I have gotten out of the house maybe 5 times. So starting this week we will be getting the car on Wednesday every week and my husband will be busing to work in order to give us girls a little more freedom. The lame part is that none of the baby and mom groups run on Wednesdays! So I'm not sure what we will do but I'm determined to get up to something.
For myself personally I have been struggling with not getting down. I have found that for myself personally becoming a mom isolated me from friends and our families live farther away. I gained a friend who had a beautiful baby boy a few days after Samara was born and I am SO grateful for her but non of my friends have been able to have babies yet. This means that while they are killing it in their fields of work and while we all used to be busy working, I now stay at home without a car and it's been a long winter so to speak. Something else for me is that I have been learning to balance my home, cooking, having a baby, being a person and being married. It has not been easy. And because my husband is a full time student of engineering we don't have much time to give each other which is difficult. Going back to my old job for two days felt like a vacation because he was there with Samara and I and was a huge help to me, it was so wonderful having him with us. I keep telling myself there's only one year left but to be honest he will be hopefully starting a new job and engineering tends to try and suck the life out of their workers. So I'm praying that we will be able to finally be a family when he starts working again, not drifters in the night.
Well that's about all for now! She is napping way longer now but our nights are still full with nursing sessions and something new I try and do each day is go onto our deck with her (rain, snow or shine) and blow bubbles. Alfi comes with us and jumps on them all.

Keep searching for healing and sunshine!
Love your friend,
Laura

You can find me on instagram @elizabeth_oosterom or on You Tube at Laura Elizabeth