Today ~ The Joy in a New Day

 Lovelies, it’s sunny today! Let’s be sure to get outside and soak up that life giving vitamin D and feel the sun on our faces. 

I also want to encourage you to be kind to those around you. Smile, say hello, be courteous. If someone needs help ask if you can be of assistance. People have stopped reaching out to help, be of assistance or any such thing. 

Don’t stop being human. 

What can we do today? Today I’m going to give a gift to someone for her birthday. I’m going to go to her house, give her a gift, sing her happy birthday and celebrate her. Possibly the most special gift I’m going to give her is a birthday hug. I’m healthy, I respect those who want to stay isolated, those who feel they have to stay far apart to be safe - I’m not here to add fear or stress to your life. 

I’m also going to plan dinner before I leave so my husband feels taken care of - this is part of his love language. 

It’s simple things that I CAN DO right now for those around me. 

I’m also going to be calm, kind, soft spoken and loving today. 

What are some things you have planned today? A bath, getting out into the fresh air and sun? Baking cookies or painting a picture? Going for a run or going out for a coffee? What’s one step further? Mailing your picture to someone you know? Buying coffee for the person behind you? Dropping some of those cookies off at your neighbours? Inviting a friend or family member on a walk?

Let’s do what we can and pray - do not stop praying. 

Let’s keep seeking healing and sunshine ☀️ 

Laura

What Hasn’t Changed

Hello Lovelies,

I was thinking, what can I control and what hasn’t changed since covid19? I can control myself, the feeling in my home and what hasn’t changed is nature. 

Covid19 has stripped us all down to the studs, just like my house is sitting stripped. I can go upstairs and see the ugly bareness and see myself - how I feel I am these days. 

But God. 

Nature hasn’t changed, creation hasn’t changed. I can go outside and breathe fresh air, drink fresh water, sit under the cool shade of a tree or bask in the warmth of the sunshine. I can dance in the rain or dig in the dirt. I can breathe and touch and taste and hear and smell the nature all around me. The grass after it’s mowed - you get the idea. 

Something so simple has given me a burst of hope. I honestly hadn’t thought of it before but it’s true, go outside and grab it for yourself. Lay on the ground, dig your toes in the grass or dirt or sand. Go to the beach and listen to the waves and the gulls. 

So here is tangible hope for you right now. Grab the hand of the person in your bubble and get outside or go out alone and grab some hope today. 

You are loved, you are seen, you are precious and valuable and never alone. 

Keep seeking the healing and sunshine ☀️ 

Laura

Mental Heath, Covid Truth and Other Stuff

 Hello lovelies,

How are you doing? This week I realized that my rhythm was off and I realized it had been 2 weeks since I saw another person besides my husband and children. It felt awful. How are you doing? How is your mental health? 

Something else I realized is that I am so bored but that there’s so much daily stuff to do and it’s causing me anxiety. Are you ever bored even though there are a ton of things to do? 

I also keep thinking, all of these clear signs our government is showing us are so dangerous and yet as a collective people we are doing nothing to stop it. I read how our government is setting the army up along our boarders to “help” give mandatory covid tests and send travellers off to forced isolation at government hotels that resemble prisons. These forced hotel quarantines are for both air and land travellers now. It’s paid out of your pocket and the army is being utilized to “support” the governments wishes. This should not be happening period but it is. Covid 19 has a 99% survival rate. It is NOT a pandemic. We have been LIED to by our government. 

I fear our silence and complacency as a nation is going to end in irreversible consequences for our land of the true North, strong and free. That we are going to wake up without freedom, without choices and it will be permanent - not this “temporary” place we find ourselves. We are being conditioned to go along with insane restrictions, rules and regulations for no set amount of time. Our scientists and doctors know covid cannot be eradicated, that it is here to stay. The media barely prints these truths, at the very least we are fed fear instead of facts and truth 99 times to one. 

So what can we do about it? How can we stand up for ourselves and advocate for our freedoms when if we were really in a pandemic these restrictions could make sense. How do we tell our government what they already know - that they lied to us, that covid 19 while it is a threat and it can kill you so can influenza or pneumonia. How can we stand up for ourselves when many others believe they are in actual danger, that what you believe makes you dangerous to them. 

The answer is I don’t know. But I’m opening up the conversation because there has to be something. I believe in prayer and the God of heaven - so I pray, I find His peace, I look to him. 

Will writing my MP do anything? Or simply put a target on my back. 

There is an Alberta pastor who is in jail because he won’t stop holding church services. However they haven’t had a case of covid in 28 Sunday’s they’ve held church. They know the truth about covid. They have asked doctors and scientists and done their research, put things in place to make sure they are keeping their congregation safe and still they are under persecution. Because they are standing up for what is true. They are standing in clear opposition to what the government is lying about and it doesn’t make them look good. So they are trying to shut him down, use him as an example. This - is - dangerous. 

So my lovelies I leave you with this, keep seeking the healing and sunshine - don’t stop seeking healing. 

Sparkle

I saw her sparkle
She was glum, non expressive attitude
Then I said “you’re beautiful”
And she sparkled

Her eyes lit up, her face broke

Into this deep, beautiful smile

She sparkled 

My daughter

My heart outside of my body

She sparkled

I love her with all that I am

Every part 

And she sparkled

Cinnamon Sugar Kisses

It didn’t work out
I tried twice to be fair
But my bread would rise
And then my bread would fail 

I don’t know what I did

Or didn’t do

But one thing I do know

One thing that is true

I tried my best

To make bread for my kids

For our lunch

But it didn’t happen except for this

I deep fried hockey puck donuts

I got them real hot

Then I dipped them in cinnamon and sugar

Right there on the spot

You ate them right up

Half raw to be sure

And you got cinnamon sugar on your nose

And I captured it in a blur

You’re so sweet and so cute

Cinnamon sugar kisses all day

You’re my Luca, my baby

And I just want to say

This mommy will take your cinnamon sugar kisses anytime any day 

Keep finding the healing and sunshine dear ones!

Renovation HELLP - REVISED

 Hello Dear Ones,

I’ve got something on my mind. So we recently bought a house, decided to do a simple renovation and opened some things up... that lead to the discoveries of water damage in the dining room floor from the deck that the previous owners had tried to solve themselves and didn’t disclose to us. This lead to a rat infestation when they opened the deck up and the house up but didn’t put anything over the holes which gave the rats access to the entire inside of our floors. We all smelled something but nobody knew what it was, not even the inspector. We thought it was either smoke or the little dogs kept in the house by the previous owners. We also discovered things like the house needing to be re wired and another incorrect self installation from the previous owners in the kitchen which had the big wire hook up to the stove completely melted and wires exposed. 

So now instead of a few simple renovations we are looking at massive renovations. A complete house transformation, up and downstairs, outside and a garage. I - AM - SO - STRESSED! I feel like I can’t breathe, gasping and crying at the same time. 

Then there’s the fact I’m going to be parenting two toddlers in an RV all summer as we will have to repack our basement suite and move out so the whole house can be done all at once. And that’s if the renovations get done on time. Let me clarify that the RV will be borrowed from my sister and parked in our driveway - if it all works out.

I think is what is so difficult is that before anything is even touched in the house we are shelling out thousands of dollars. We have had to go the permit route because of the extent of the renovations. This means we paid for a land survey, we have paid over $2000 for drawings of what we want our house to look like when all is said and done but they still have to do all the drawings for the city so it will be double or triple that in the end. We now need another engineer who will cost a minimum of $2350 and a health and safety check over the entire building for asbestos and whatever else they look for plus the permit has to be applied for, paid for and hopefully we get approved. So before any contractor comes, before any work is done it’s thousands. 

On top of everything COVID19 has been ongoing for a year with our government pulling more and more power with no end in sight. We just got told that no social events of any kind are to happen for a non disclosed amount of time. We have been under this “strong ask” since November 2020, now it’s February 2021. And Trudeaus “hotels” have me worried too as I have friends and family who will need to come back into Canada - they have good reason to have left, nobody has been vacationing. Who has $2000 to be trapped in a guarded room, sent up gross food waiting for a clear test result when they already showed a negative test just to fly. Plus the power grab this is needs to be shut down, these things are not being done for our safety as Canadians - we are losing our rights as a free people at an alarming rate. 

All of this causes stress and anxiety and those things cause flare ups in both my body and my husbands health. We both have diseases that are unseen. I have EDS type 3 hyper mobility which means I dislocate partially and fully without cause. My husband has ulcerative colitis and his flare ups cause his body to stop digesting his food so he loses weight and it drains him of all energy - he suffers from fatigue. He’s essentially been robbed of his youth but if you ever get the chance to meet him you’d never know, he works so hard to stay as normal as possible and amazes me daily with all he accomplishes but he carries a deep sorrow over it. The only time it’s made him stop was when he was hospitalized in 2017 for a month and nearly died. Our daughter was about 9 months old at the time and it was a very intense time for our family.

We always wanted to do the renovations right, we were hiring a contractor, looking up all the laws so we were doing things “right” but now we are having to jump through alllll the expensive hoops on top of our renovation turning into a house demolition and revamp for health and safety reasons.

However, God. He knew all of these problems before he lead us to this place. He opened all of the doors at just the right time and in a crazy time in real estate we were able to look at it, bid on it and buy it - without anyone else driving up the price - this is a miracle. I know that. And I wouldn’t want to live in any other location - I live in a dream of forests and rivers, mountains and lakes. I am so grateful.

Having faith doesn’t mean you won’t find me some nights bawling curled up on the floor due to the stress of not knowing where the funds for rebuilding this home are coming from but soon after I also hope you’d find me leaning into my refuge and strong tower pouring my heart out to God, knowing he hears us and has us safe in his arms. He uses people in our lives to love and support us but ultimately He is where we learn who we are and He fills us to overflowing.

NOW - I took my gofundme link down in respect to a family member who disagrees with it. I’ve been working on the commandment “honour your father and mother” and I believe this applies to in-law parents. I made it with a clear conscience and truly believe there was nothing wrong with it, but out of respect I have taken it down.

Find the healing and sunshine dear ones,

Laura

Living Room

Dining Room

Kitchen

Hallway View and the Bathroom on the Right

Who Do I Say I Am / Who Do YOU Say I Am

I’m currently sitting on my couch having some quiet time, it’s the middle of the day and I’m a stay at home mom of two toddlers. It’s a beautiful moment. How did I manage this impossible feat? Well sit with me, take a few deep breaths and listen. You’ll hear loud slurps coming from across the room from my two rambunctious, sweet, chirpy toddlers discussing “grumpy guys” and eating popsicles. 

What are grumpy guys you ask? They are the villains of every show my two precious babes have ever watched. We talk a lot about grumpy guys because for some reason they make a huge impact. I have been speaking daily about superhero’s on purpose. Telling my children they want to be superhero’s because superhero’s always win. That they defeat the grumpy guys. I’m hoping this is true. 

I’m hoping I can beat the grumpy guys from my past and be the super hero in my own story and pass it along to my children. I try so hard everyday to rise above and be different, better, more than those who raised me were. 

I’m not just talking about my parents. My mom went back to work two weeks after I was born and I was babysat by 3 different sets of people plus being raised by my parents on evenings and weekends. That’s a lot of different families, different rules, different faces and different types of temperaments, traumas and pasts for a two week old to learn to deal with. At one month old I came home with hickys on my neck because a tenant of one babysitter who was also their family got “carried away” with kissing me. Picture an old man sucking on the neck of your one month old... now picture yourself dropping your baby girl off with the same family like nothing had happened - except it did and she has the hickys to prove it. Anyway, moving on. 

Is what I’m trying to say is that I have a lot to overcome in order to raise my children to be kind, smart, loving, humorous, gentle and aware, having boundaries, the confidence to say “no” to anyone no matter their size, age, sex, race or authority. I’m trying to raise children who are respectful, brave, courageous, who can handle tough situations because they are mature - but they are 4 and 2 years old. And I mess up all of the time - I say sorry at least once a day. 

If you’re reading this and you can’t relate it’s okay. Everyone’s story is different, we’re like snowflakes - no two of us are the same and no two stories are the same. But if you’re reading this and you can relate, have hope. Change is possible because we all get to choose. And may I just say that because of Jesus and Father God all things really are possible. Maybe that leaves you with a gross taste in your mouth. God isn’t a gross taste but people can be. I have felt God’s presence and it has changed me forever, whenever I doubt myself I remember, it is through Him and in Him that I am made new, in His strength, not my own. 

So how do you see yourself and your world around you? What lens are you looking through? Are you stuck with lenses of a child? Have you grown, matured? Or are you stuck in a past trauma or series of traumas you can’t seem to heal from and move beyond? I have a counsellor, every month I get to sit down in her office and I am grinning from ear to ear, she usually comments how happy I must be today but I tell her the truth. I’m so happy because I’m in her office about to be really heard and really seen and because she genuinely cares and gives great knowledge and has empathy if not understanding. I’m sitting in a place of trust, caring and help. I am not stuck, I am healing and moving foreword and it is powerful and it is my own choice. It’s beautiful. 

So here’s the sunshine, sit with yourself in a calm and happy place, create one, find one - it doesn’t matter, just get there and ask yourself 1. who you are 2. how do you see yourself and 3. how do you see beyond yourself. You need to know your lens  after that decide your path, how are you going to heal, how are you going to make better, smarter, different choices? How are you going to mature and grow and change your lenses? How are you, how am I, going to change the course of life as we knew it for the better for our children? 

I choose Jesus and counselling and learning about myself, being aware, being intentional, learning, listening, being safe, having boundaries and loving - myself and others. 

Stay in the places of healing and sunshine dear ones, you are precious and you are loved.