I’m currently sitting on my couch having some quiet time, it’s the middle of the day and I’m a stay at home mom of two toddlers. It’s a beautiful moment. How did I manage this impossible feat? Well sit with me, take a few deep breaths and listen. You’ll hear loud slurps coming from across the room from my two rambunctious, sweet, chirpy toddlers discussing “grumpy guys” and eating popsicles.
What are grumpy guys you ask? They are the villains of every show my two precious babes have ever watched. We talk a lot about grumpy guys because for some reason they make a huge impact. I have been speaking daily about superhero’s on purpose. Telling my children they want to be superhero’s because superhero’s always win. That they defeat the grumpy guys. I’m hoping this is true.
I’m hoping I can beat the grumpy guys from my past and be the super hero in my own story and pass it along to my children. I try so hard everyday to rise above and be different, better, more than those who raised me were.
I’m not just talking about my parents. My mom went back to work two weeks after I was born and I was babysat by 3 different sets of people plus being raised by my parents on evenings and weekends. That’s a lot of different families, different rules, different faces and different types of temperaments, traumas and pasts for a two week old to learn to deal with. At one month old I came home with hickys on my neck because a tenant of one babysitter who was also their family got “carried away” with kissing me. Picture an old man sucking on the neck of your one month old... now picture yourself dropping your baby girl off with the same family like nothing had happened - except it did and she has the hickys to prove it. Anyway, moving on.
Is what I’m trying to say is that I have a lot to overcome in order to raise my children to be kind, smart, loving, humorous, gentle and aware, having boundaries, the confidence to say “no” to anyone no matter their size, age, sex, race or authority. I’m trying to raise children who are respectful, brave, courageous, who can handle tough situations because they are mature - but they are 4 and 2 years old. And I mess up all of the time - I say sorry at least once a day.
If you’re reading this and you can’t relate it’s okay. Everyone’s story is different, we’re like snowflakes - no two of us are the same and no two stories are the same. But if you’re reading this and you can relate, have hope. Change is possible because we all get to choose. And may I just say that because of Jesus and Father God all things really are possible. Maybe that leaves you with a gross taste in your mouth. God isn’t a gross taste but people can be. I have felt God’s presence and it has changed me forever, whenever I doubt myself I remember, it is through Him and in Him that I am made new, in His strength, not my own.
So how do you see yourself and your world around you? What lens are you looking through? Are you stuck with lenses of a child? Have you grown, matured? Or are you stuck in a past trauma or series of traumas you can’t seem to heal from and move beyond? I have a counsellor, every month I get to sit down in her office and I am grinning from ear to ear, she usually comments how happy I must be today but I tell her the truth. I’m so happy because I’m in her office about to be really heard and really seen and because she genuinely cares and gives great knowledge and has empathy if not understanding. I’m sitting in a place of trust, caring and help. I am not stuck, I am healing and moving foreword and it is powerful and it is my own choice. It’s beautiful.
So here’s the sunshine, sit with yourself in a calm and happy place, create one, find one - it doesn’t matter, just get there and ask yourself 1. who you are 2. how do you see yourself and 3. how do you see beyond yourself. You need to know your lens after that decide your path, how are you going to heal, how are you going to make better, smarter, different choices? How are you going to mature and grow and change your lenses? How are you, how am I, going to change the course of life as we knew it for the better for our children?
I choose Jesus and counselling and learning about myself, being aware, being intentional, learning, listening, being safe, having boundaries and loving - myself and others.
Stay in the places of healing and sunshine dear ones, you are precious and you are loved.
No comments:
Post a Comment