Dear Samara,
I am so proud of you. Yesterday, April 23, 2021 was a big day for you. God opened up a spot for you to have your hernia surgery. We went from this unknown amount of time to “in 4 days you will have surgery.”
We all woke up at different times. First daddy whose used to waking up at 4:30 AM for work. Then you around 7:30 AM, then Luca around 8 AM and finally mommy at 8:05. I had put 2 juice boxes at your spot for breakfast because you were only allowed to have clear liquids after midnight and you were so excited.
You drank one juice yourself and opened the second box up for bubby and after you spun and danced in a sugar juice euphoria chanting and squealing “it’s surgery day!” You’re so excited, mommy apprehensive. Then you saw daddy cooking oatmeal (your go to breakfast he makes you everyday) and you said “daddy’s making us oatmeal!!!” Because you knew you weren’t allowed to eat so you were surprised and excited. I had to explain it wasn’t for you but you didn’t complain or get sad.
Next daddy took you and Luca for a walk while mommy got ready. Daddy carried you because he was concerned you wouldn’t have the energy for it but he wanted you to get some fresh air. Luca rode his bike and you all headed up the mountain.
I (mommy) had packed all of the bags the night before so I was loading them into the van when you got back. You went pee and then got buckled into you seatbelt. You were quieter but still chatty. I hadn’t eaten yet so I knew how hungry you must be but you didn’t say a word. You asked me why I looked so pretty today.
I told you about the day I got to meet you for the first time. I got my nails done, hair and makeup done that day. I put on one of my favourite outfits and your daddy and I went to our ultrasound where we were told you were a girl. I had dressed up to meet you, it was very important to me. And today my brave little girl I dressed up again. I knew that doctors and nurses show more respect for a person who looks professional. They listen better to someone who looks on par with them and so I dressed up for you. I wanted to be ready should I need to advocate for you and I wanted them to be ready to listen.
Then we set off. You and Luca in the backseat and mommy upfront, daddy driving. We left a few minutes late. We stopped to get me a bagel and coffee. You usually enjoy everything I eat and you’ve been slurping my coffee since you were one. I put on a movie so you wouldn’t have to sit there and watch me have breakfast. You asked for a bite of bagel and I had to say no. You said “okay” and didn’t ask again. We filled the van up with gas and set off.
The next stop was about 16 minutes away from the hospital because you had to pee. I had put a little potty in the back of the van so you went and that was the last time you had to go. You had drank some water at 10:03 AM because I knew you weren’t allowed anymore to drink until surgery (at 1:15 PM).
We arrived at the hospital, daddy got you out, mommy got the bag and took your hand and we walked into entrance 53. We are going through the third wave of the Covid 19 pandemic and so you have to put on masks and clean your hands before you go anywhere. We did and then we took a short walk to the elevators. We went up and followed the signs just like it showed in the video we saw and the pamphlet we read on what to expect.
We checked in. We were 25 minutes early but our room was ready regardless. Mommy was given some warm wipes and had to give you a little bath with sterilized wipes to make sure you were extra clean. You could keep your socks and undies on. You had chosen to wear your favourite unicorn sleepers, unicorn llama socks and paw paw (paw patrol) undies. I helped you into your striped hospital nighty and tucked you into the blanket my mother sewed me and we began. We watched Frozen 2 like you wanted.
We had someone come and ask us questions and check your vitals. It happened just like it did in the pictures. First you got an arm hug from a blood pressure cuff. Next you got a bandaid with a red light on it to check your oxygen levels. Then a swipe from your forehead down to your ear to check your temperature and finally the stethoscope listened to your breathing (lungs).
Next we had a nurse come in and put some numbing cream on your hands to help with the IV going in later. Then another person came in and talked about what to expect for the rest of the day (but we had already looked at the pictures and read the same words in our pamphlet so it was all familiar). Then we had the surgeon arrive and mommy asked a couple of questions and she drew on your tummy around your hernia and finally the sleep doctor came.
Mommy found out you were going to get a breathing tube but on further discussion we decided that the less invasive tube would be best. The anesthesiologist name was Doctor Bailey and her interns name was Zack. Zack stayed and chatted with us and answered a lot of questions. He was really nice. You happily watched frozen 2.
Then it was time for mommy to get changed and our nurse came and got us. Mommy wore a special outfit but put the booties on backwards and they were slippery. I carried you down the hallway and into the surgery room. It felt like a long walk. I was confident but I also wished I could have walked slower, held you longer. There were so many animal murals to look at.
We got to the surgical room and it was as busy and full of people and machines as they said it would be. I put you on the skinny bed and you got to choose to watch more Elsa 2. I had to hug you while they put your IV tube in but you weren’t scared because we had practised at home. Your superpower worked and your skin was asleep so the pinch from the needle and tube didn’t bother you one bit. The only time you moved was when they tapped your hand to get your little vein to go up. But when they put the IV in I didn’t know because you were so still. Then I laid you down and they put in your sleeping medicine and you breathed raspberry scented oxygen. You closed your eyes, opened them, blinked, yawned and then you were asleep. Mommy took Moo (your surgery cow) and your soother and left you in the hands of God and the team he gave us to help you that day.
I went to the waiting room thinking about you and what your little body would be going through. I knew they would be moving your head placing the breathing tube in, taking off your nighty and cutting into your body. I knew this was just another Friday for them but you’re my baby. My most precious girl. They washed you with a pink cleaning solution - your tummy is bright pink, gave you a needle of freezing (I saw the hole) and cut and sewed.
Mommy thankfully got to the waiting room and there were 3 other mothers waiting. We started chatting and that helped pass the time. I drank my water but didn’t eat any of my snacks. We were all masked and separated because of the covid rules by at least 6 feet. We all had daughters in for surgery.
First one and then another were gotten and taken away by nurses to go to their babies and finally it was my turn. I couldn’t believe how quickly your surgery was over. You have stitches holding your muscles together that are supposed to last a long time. Longer than 2 weeks. You have stitches on the outside that need to stay for 2 weeks but they’ll dissolve on their own.
Then it was time to go and see you. You were on oxygen and hooked up to the monitor and so the recovery nurse told me all about your at home care. You can’t have a bath for two days but your bandaids need to stay on for 3. Then we can wash your incision site but the white tape needs to stay on for 2 weeks.
You took a long time to wake up. You didn’t want to. The nurse used a wet cloth to tickle you and wash your face but you didn’t stir until she put some tissue up your nose and swirled it around. That got your attention. Next she tickled you again and this time mommy put your purple rocket popsicle in your mouth and that got you. You slowly began blinking but you were sucking really hard on your popsicle. Every time I’d take it away your little tongue would poke out searching. The first time you tried to hold it yourself you missed your mouth and tried to feed your nose but quickly you put a cup under to catch any drops and were munching away.
Right after you wanted to get dressed. So I put your special jammies on you, tucked you into the wheelchair and they gave you a second rocket to go. You still chose purple. You also told a nurse that your favourite colour is purple. It’s always been orange (sometimes red) but today it was purple.
Then I wheeled you down to entrance 53 and out to the parking lot where daddy was pulling in and away we went. The drugs you were on were really good. You asked to go to the park, I had to tell you not to climb the couch when we got home. You ate 3 half pieces of bread and butter but declined the soup and juice. At 5:45 PM I gave you your first Tylenol/Advil combo and then daddy took you for another walk. Again he carried you and then you came back for Luca and shared chips in the buggy.
You’re doing really well my love. You know you’re sore and your tummy is owie so you ask me to carry you around everywhere you want to go as you can’t get there yourself. I’m glad you’re listening to your body.
Yesterday you watched frozen 2 and moana. I wonder what we will do this weekend. Read books, do puzzles, go for walks, eat good food, watch movies and take pain medicine would be my guess.
God supplied all I prayed for you and more today my sweet girl. And you were so strong and brave but it’s just who you are. I’m glad your hernia is fixed and I’m praying for a complete recovery and that your muscles will stay closed and become strong.
I love you my precious girl. My brave, strong girl. You amaze me everyday and I’m grateful I got to witness you today.
Love, mommy ❤️
